Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Papa's Always Right

Yes, I'm still in the passage between Schumaker and Cinda, working a little on both and catching up on life in general.  Today I'm taking a departure from the writing life to give you a glimpse into home life.

This year, instead of a vacation, DH and I agreed to put that money into a new deck on the back of the house since the existing deck was getting a little scary to walk on. Like most sensible people, we asked for quotes from several reputable deckbuilders first. Howsomever, DH quickly put his back up. His father was a contractor. The prices the deckbuilders were quoting as overhead did not compute for him (even though they were all in the same ball park).  Solution? He took it upon himself to build said deck. He has the skills, the know-how.

Enter me. I started to cringe. Not that he doesn't know how. He does. But the deckbuilders were quoting two days. I KNOW DH can't complete this project in two days. Not no way, not no how. However, if this is a project he wants to undertake, I will not argue with him. Sometimes we all like to exercise our creative side. Work with our hands. Build something with our own two hands. So I smiled and said "yes, dear." (after much initial discussion, I might add).

In a previous life, I have experience with people starting projects and not finishing them, leaving them either for me to complete or to hire out. I have warned DH that if this project is not finished this year, I will be hiring someone to finish it in the spring. But I'm working very hard not to nag him. Not to ask about his progress. Not to say "are we there yet?" Even though it's killing me. Instead I'm resorting to this very public forum (which I'm sure he'll appreciate greatly).

August 11
August 11
August 18
After the first 10 days, he had to go back to work. Then after another week, he took some more days off. Eager beaver that I am, I asked "so does that mean you're going to start building?" (If looks could kill, I would not be writing this blog post today.) He ever so gently explained to me that he had "inside" prep work that he was doing. Now, I'm not doubting him. I know he did. And it was also three of the hottest days of the year.

In my head, I'm seeing that quote that said two men, two days. I'm now looking at one man, 30 days, no deck. The picture from August 18? Those boards are gone now and there is no "visible" progress on construction.  I'm trying not to hyperventilate. It isn't that I don't think he'll finish, I believe he will. It's my flashbacks to the previous life that give me fits. And it's losing the last beautiful days of summer without being able to carry a book out to the deck. No deck on which to watch the lightning bugs twinkle or to point out constellations from. 

I'm distracted. I want to help. Can I take days off to swing a hammer? Hold a board? Nope. He doesn't want help. The same way I'm used to helping and even finishing projects, he's used to doing them himself. 

It brings to mind a folk tale called "Papa's Always Right." The "Papa" in question made some horrendous decisions, which his wife supported, and in the end, he came out ahead. (you can read the story here) I have faith in my DH. The bigger problem is my own patience level.  So I'm showing him a smile and holding back my "when is this going to be finished" cries. I made a deal. He has until the end of the year before I'm allowed to go berserk.

I have to hold up my end of the bargain.

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