Life's Too Short

Well you knew I was overdue for a soap box day, so here it is.

As you know, I work a day job. It pays the bills. It's a necessary evil. My son says it best when he says, "you do what you have to do so you can do what you want to do." (smart kid, that son of mine.) So I work the day job, and it allows me to do what I want to do - write books. Sure, sometimes it encroaches on my writing time, but overall, I've learned to work with the ebbs and flows.

I have a very strong sense of order. It's a curse, and it's a blessing. It helps me to prioritize and while there were many years that I went into "tilt" mode because things weren't ordered to my satisfaction, I've learned to let go of a lot of those disorderly details, to understand which of those details is essential and which aren't. Which I could control, and which I couldn't. And folks, if it ain't yours to control, there's no point getting worked up about it.

Recently, I had to remind someone of this at the day job. The work comes in. First time, never been seen before. Someone picks it up and creates a template based on a company standard. The life cycle for this work means that after this point, it will go through numerous revisions and alterations before a final product is presented. For most of our work, we are able to begin with last year's edition and carry it forward, updating for this year's presentation. My experience tells me that this first cut at the template will be revised numerous times, rewritten, reorganized. So if the first cut isn't perfect, well that isn't a big deal to me, because it's going to be revamped to a point where it might not be recognizable by the second round of updates. There are some things I'm just not going to get my undies in a bunch about, and this is one of them. It's going to be horribly "unorderly" the next time we see it, so why waste the energy obsessing over it at the preliminary cut? The first time we put hands on a new project, the best we can do is offer the team something to work with. A starting point. We want to make it good, but perfect is a waste of time at the beginning stages.

Life is too short to obsess over things that will change. Dramatically. Some things you can fix, some things you can't. Know when it's important and when it isn't. Making a perfect first draft is an unreasonable expectation. There's no such animal.

Certainly I obsess over every word I write. Does it belong. Is the usage correct. Does it move the story forward. One of the secrets I've learned is knowing when the story is over. The first book I wrote I didn't know how to end. I wanted the story to go on forever. When do you know its done? (The simple answer to that is when you've resolved the plot. KNOW YOUR THEME.) Every story has a beginning, a middle and an end, all of which tie together. Every word, every paragraph, every chapter needs to move the story forward. If you stop and get stuck obsessing with minor details, it can completely derail you. Been there, done that. Writer's block? The key is to move forward. Don't let it get in your way. Write something. Anything. Move past it. You can always go back and cut out the icky parts later. When I get lost along the way, I stop. Take a step back. Look at the big picture. Does it really matter? Is it important to anyone but me? In a story, if the answer is no, you cut the offensive piece. In life, the same principle applies. If the answer is no, let it go and move on. Save your energy for where it really matters.

Life is too short to get stuck in unnecessary sub plots. Make a difference where it counts and don't beat people up (or yourself) for making a mistake on the first draft. You'll almost always get a second chance, and if you waste your time trying to swim in a puddle, you won't have any energy left when you get to the ocean.

{stepping off my soapbox now}

So what does one do when they've finished writing a novel?

Rekindling is off to the editor! I'd like to tell you that it's in perfect shape and will come back quickly with minimal comments, but that's a post for another day. I will say that I expect it to be in halfway decent shape and it is reasonable to believe it will not be further delayed - still expecting an October release.

That being said, the next question is "what do I do now?"

1.  Clean my house! Mundane things can suffer when you are in the throes of writing and editing.
2.  Take a vacation. Relax. Writing a book is often compared to childbirth and requires a recovery period. Even the men will tell you that. I just read an article by Stephen King where he didn't compare it to childbirth, but he DID say you need at least six weeks of recovery upon finishing the first draft to go back at it with a critical eye. The second benefit to vacation time is inspiration. Get new inspiration in a new environment.
3.  Learn new things that you can use in your next book.
4.  Catch up on your reading. (I just read four new books!)
5.  Start writing/outlining the next book.
6.  Book "housekeeping" things. Prepare marketing efforts, blurbs, elevator pitches.
7.  Bake some cookies! What better way to celebrate!

I plan to do all of the above, not necessarily in that order. Some I've already done, some are on my schedule to do.

The work isn't over until Rekindling is "on the shelves," but I'm at the end of the process. A toast, then, to another happily ever after!

What romance novel would you recommend?

Romance novels continue to sell well - and in today's society, the trends change as rapidly as movies in a theater. From vampires to zombies to homecomings to Cinderella stories. There's something for everyone and thousands upon thousands of choices to pick from. With the influx of indie authors, it's hard to know where to find a good book. As always, word of mouth is the strongest influence.

Today, I'm offering up five of my all-time favorite romance novels.

1.  On the Night of the Seventh Moon - Victoria Holt
For me, no list would be complete without at least one Victoria Holt book. While her style is formulaic, I loved each and every one that I read.

According to ancient Black Forest legend, on the Night of the Seventh Moon, Loke, the God of Mischief, is at large in the world. It is a night for festivity and joyful celebration. It is a night for singing and dancing. And it is a night for love.

Helena Trant was enchanted by everything she found in the Black Forest -- especially its legends. But then, on the Night of the Seventh Moon, she started to live one of them, and the enchantment turned suddenly into a terrifying nightmare . . . Buy it at Amazon

2.  Outlander - Diana Gabaldon

A brilliant character study that sent me to Scotland in search of standing stones and roguish Highlanders wearing kilts. The second in the series, A Dragonfly in Amber, is equally as compelling (and I actually read that one first). 

Claire Randall is leading a double life. She has a husband in one century, and a lover in another...In 1945, Claire Randall, a former combat nurse, is back from the war and reunited with her husband on a second honeymoon—when she innocently touches a boulder in one of the ancient stone circles that dot the British Isles. Suddenly she is a Sassenach—an "outlander"—in a Scotland torn by war and raiding border clans in the year of our Lord...1743. But it at Amazon

3.  A Knight in Shining Armor - Jude Deveraux

One of the things I liked best about this novel was the attitude toward raising children. Well, that and the romance, of course. Jude does a great job of showing the differences between this century and times past. 

Abandoned by her lover, thoroughly modern Dougless Montgomery finds herself alone and brokenhearted in an old English church. She never dreamed that a love more powerful than time awaited her there...until Nicholas Stafford, Earl of Thornwyck, a sixteenth-century knight, appeared. Drawn to him by a bond so sudden and compelling that it defied reason, Dougless knew that Nicholas was nothing less than a miracle: a man who would not seek to change her, who found her perfect just as she was. But she could not know how strong were the chains that tied them to the past -- or the grand adventure that lay before them. Buy it at Amazon

4.  A Promise of Spring - Mary Balogh

Mary Balogh writes characters seeking redemption from their sins of the past. I particularly liked this one because it dealt with "the one that got away."

Grace Howard has every reason to be devoted to Sir Peregrine Lampman. After all, the gallant gentleman rescued her from poverty by making her his bride. Even more nobly, he did not withdraw his affection after she confessed to a youthful folly that had compromised her virtue. But Grace did not tell the whole truth about the handsome lord who betrayed her—and now the one thing she’s kept from Perry threatens to destroy her last chance at true love. Buy it at Amazon

Geez. How do I round out the top five? With a dash of humor, I think.

5.  Anyone but You - Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie is fun. She writes quirky characters that make you laugh, and Nina definitely qualifies. 

Part basset, part beagle, all Cupid…

For Nina Askew, turning forty means freedom—from the ex-husband, freedom from their stuffy suburban home, freedom to focus on what she wants for a change. And what she wants is something her ex always vetoed—a puppy. A bouncy, adorable puppy.

Instead she gets…Fred.

Overweight, middle-aged, a bit smelly and obviously depressed, Fred is light-years from perky. But he does manage to put Nina in the path of Alex Moore, her gorgeous, younger-by-a-decade neighbor.

Alex seems perfect—he's a sexy, seemingly sane, surprisingly single E.R. doctor—but the age gap convinces Nina that anyone but Alex would be better relationship material. But with every silver-haired stiff she dates, the more she suspects it's the young, dog-loving doc she wants to sit and stay! Buy it at Amazon

This is only a small dent, but they are ones that I would read over and over. What books would you recommend?

High School Reunion/Glory Days

Permit me some personal meandering today.

This year is my xxth high school reunion, and there is one person from my class who has devotedly embarked on the task of tracking down as many of our classmates as possible (kudos, Pam!). In this era of social media, finding people is slightly easier, although my experience is that there are still a large number of people who haven't embraced technology (or consciously avoid it).

High school. What kind of memories does that bring back for you? For most of us, that was an awkward stage. Some of us had the benefit of good friends to carry us through, whether they were carried over from a close-knit grade school/middle school class, or new friends we made at a new and bigger school. Some of us stumbled our way through, not quite fitting in. And some of us were primo athletes and found a way to stand out that way. Which category do I fit in? {wagging my finger} No, I'm not throwing everyone into categories, and like everyone else, I am not that easily defined.

In the years since I've graduated, I've only been to one reunion. I planned to go to the first one, but I had just had a baby and wasn't in good enough shape to attend. The second came at a very tumultuous time in my life. By the time I finally went to one, the turnout wasn't very good, although I did see several people that I actually knew.  My graduating class was something like 300 people, I think (the people who know can correct me if I'm wrong).

We've all moved past that awkward phase in our lives, discovered who we are and who we are meant to be. It's fun to look back on some of those times, and some days its heartbreaking. I remember a friend who was killed shortly after graduation, a young man with a bright future and a likeable disposition whose future was cut short. I remember going to the movie theater with a friend and seeing one of the toughest boys on the football team in a row ahead of me visibly frightened by the end of a horror movie with a shock ending.

Over the course of time, I've noticed changes in society. I had a teacher/coach who used a terribly offensive phrase when she referred to the team I was on, and none of us were offended by it. It was a joke, and taken as such. For one of the reunions, I employed that phrase (it was a fond memory!) and yet I was censored (and rightly so, I should add) because in today's world, using those words is taboo. Archie Bunker would be shunned today. We may have become more sensitive to other people's feelings, but at the same time, perhaps other people's feelings have become too sensitive. One group of people will vilify others for the way they act, while they employ the same actions without consequence. It gets confusing for me some days, what's right and what's wrong. But that's another topic.

High school. Okay, I'm going out on a limb here and baring my soul. I was the quiet type. Yes, I made friends, and I even made a name for myself on the tennis team. But I had some experiences (don't we all?) that made me a bit more reserved. So going back to the reunion? It's not a priority for me. I loved reconnecting with some old friends (a special hi to Scott who made me feel comfortable at the last reunion - the first friendly face in a sea of strangers), but I also re-experienced some of that "outsider" feeling when I said hello to people I considered friends and they had no recollection of me whatsoever. The "remember me? we had math class together with Mr. Byers." and you get a blank stare, or the "I remember Mr. Byers..."

Someone told me once that our thirty-year-old selves would never recognize our eighteen-year-old selves. So true. Back to that social media thing - I had a best friend in grade school, and she and I drifted apart around middle school. Years later, we reconnected on FaceBook. Who knew she liked horses? At this stage of our lives, high school is a shared experience. The friends we made we have likely kept through the years. A class reunion is the chance to reconnect with people, or a chance to make new friends who have lived through the same things you have. We have all grown beyond who we were, developed new interests, become "real" people. Maybe we don't remember each other, and that's okay. We are all different people than we were then. A reunion is an opportunity to make new friends who have lived through what you have, who know some of the people you do, who grew up where you did. For some people, it's better to look at it as a new experience instead of an old one.

When is it safe to start writing the next book?

It's inevitable that when you finish up one book, you begin looking forward to the next. I'm doing the hard work to finish Rekindling, but my thoughts are inching ahead to the sequel to Mist on the Meadow. I've got a good idea where I'm going with it and for those of you who read it, the answers to Wolf's gift will be forthcoming.

One of the stumbling blocks I continue to hit is the foreign language piece. I thought I'd done a pretty good job explaining the German terms as I used them, although I didn't translate the folk song directly. I did hit the highlights in English, but a consistent reviewer comment is wishing they understood the German words. I guess I didn't do a good enough job because the reviews are still coming back with the same comment (here's a link to the post I did on Writing with International Flair that explains the miscellaneous phrases I used).

As I prepare to embark on the new journey with Wolf and Marissa, I'm going over other works that use foreign phrases. Diana Gabaldon comes to mind. She uses many Gaelic phrases. My DH also likes to watch Grimm, which incorporates many German words, except on television you get a visual. Victoria Holt wrote a book that takes place in the Black Forest, but memory only calls to mind the one word she used - Lenchen (a term of endearment). Ultimately, it's the story that matters, and if the story is strong enough, the occasional foreign word/phrase probably won't jump out. Then again, readers are much more sophisticated these days. They expect much more from a book than we did when I was growing up.

First things first - final edits on Rekindling.