What do I think I'm doing?

I took a very memorable seminar at a writers convention about the arrogance of writers.  For most of us, we reach a point where we ask ourselves, "What do I think I'm doing, writing a book?  What makes me think I can compete with the big names?" 

For some, it's the need to express oneself.  For others, it's therapy - letting go of feelings they've been holding onto.  For others, it's pure ego.  Wanting recognition.  And then there are those that have a story to tell.

This seminar, in conjunction with a panel discussion by some well-known authors who admit that even after achieving their goals as a best-selling author they've had work rejected, helped to bolster this author's spirits (which were sorely sagging at the end of the first day of the conference).  After the first day, I remember feeling out of my league.  Maybe I should just go home.  But there's an inner voice that helps you along, and then there are those seminars that remind you that you are not alone.  A large number of people at that conference felt the same way and the seminar was a reminder to not give up if you are doing something you (a) truly believe in, (b) truly love.

Writing is not a lucrative career for most of us.  I tell the people at my day job it's a hobby - I don't make enough money at it to qualify it as anything else.  But like a woodworker, I refine my craft and work at it and I'd like to believe, in someone else's immortal words, that at the end of the day, my work "doesn't suck."  It gives me satisfaction -  a creative outlet.  It helps to make me well-rounded, not to mention the things you learn researching a story.

I draw on that seminar from time to time, reminding myself that even if people don't hang on my every word, it's worth something to me.  And if someone else sees value in my hard work, that answer to the question, "what do I think I'm doing?," is entertaining.  If not someone else, then my own self.  (maybe it's a problem that I'm easily amused, eh?)

Cheers.

Kindling

I don't know about you, but I like to hold a book in my hands.  A hard (or paperback) cover book with pages that you turn along with that little "swish" sound when you turn them.  There's something about the Feel of a book.  The Smell of a book.  It's a sensory experience beyond just your sight.  With the advent of electronic books, I didn't see much success for them since, arrogant person that I am, I believe most of the population likes that sensory experience along with me.

Until the Kindle.

As a commuter, I see people with Kindles on the train.  I've often thought to ask them what they thought of them, but I haven't, because more people that I actually KNOW are getting them.  I had a conversation with someone in a training class (during the break!) and she said she misses the feel of a book, but the Kindle works.  While many people, when they read, will at some point in time look where their bookmark is to judge their progress in getting through the story, the Kindle TELLS you (60% completed).  That's a little wierd, and yet, informational.

I'd looked into getting a Kindle for myself, but felt it was cost prohibitive, and at the time, they didn't read PDF files (and I already have PDF books), rather like the iPod when it was new in that you can only read what they give you and not anything else, so I didn't make the investment.  Then there was the Sony Reader.  As my husband points out, technology eventually catches up, and now the Kindle WILL read a PDF file, and the price is adjusting with more competition.  I do believe this is something I will buy - eventually.

Which brings me to the author point of view.  With publishing becoming more competitive than ever, and publishing houses complaining about the cost of producing paper books, I'm seeing the trend toward the future.  E-books are making more and more sense. 

While the Kindle will never replace the sensory feel of a new book, at least the design can appease some of what you lose.  Pushing a button is not a replacement for the swish and crinkle of turning a page, but it mimics it near enough as to be a sort of methadone until you can hold the read thing.  Maybe it's like borrowing a book from the library.  It gives you the opportunity to read it and decide if its something you want on your permanent shelf.  And then, when you find a book that warrants keeping, you can bond with it, read it all over again on a more intimate level.

What do you think about the Kindle/Sony Reader?

Focus -

My apologies for infrequent posting.  I'm sharply focused at the moment and trying to keep in the groove.  More rambling will be forthcoming!

New Year's Resolutions

I resolve . . .

To write that Christmas story (even though Christmas is over).
To start my next novel - (watched a Paranormal State marathon last week, and I'm still contemplating druids - maybe splice the two together . . . )
To ramp up marketing for Epitaph (I got so excited over the initial reaction, I didn't broaden my field as much I normally do)

But right now, I've been working on my treadmill, all the livelong day.  It was a Christmas present, and I LOVE it.  I've got these marvelous Jillian Michaels workouts that come with it (free!) and as soon as I've finished one, I want to keep going!  This is going to be a good year for my fitness level, I can feel it. This treadmill is fun.  I can plug in my iPod, I can read a book, I can watch television.  This machine tracks my food, my weight and my exercise.  Now if I could figure a way to do research while I'm hoofing away, I'd be in heaven (don't own an iPhone yet, and too cheap to justify it at this stage). 

Happy New Year!

Too much Merry Christmas?

Yes, I'm afraid so.  Even for a Christmas Crazy like myself.

When my daughter was about three, we had a birthday party for her.  And another one.  And another one (think friends, Mom's side, Dad's side).  This in addition to a smaller family celebration.  I'll never forget by the time it was over she was clinging to me and crying "No more happy birthday."  Too many parties.

That's kind of what it feels like this year.  With the kids getting older, they have significant others to spend family time with which multiplies the number of times we all have to celebrate Merry Christmas, not wanting to leave anyone out on our list of loved ones, and I have to tell you, I've had too many celebrations.  Don't get me wrong, I love my family - ALL of them, but kids who have already celebrated several times are anxious to get back to their own lives, rich food settling heavy in my stomach - yeah.  I'm done.

On to New Year's.  One party (can't prolong New Year's Eve, now can we?).

Do I sound like a humbug? 

Oh well.  Happy New Year, everyone :-)

The Snow Lay on the Ground

Watching the pictures of the storm that blasted through the East Coast (much more interesting than watching the Bears - they might have been better off to miss their flight after all), its a sign that winter has arrived.  Yesterday was the Winter Solstice, which means the days are getting longer now.  Can I get a yippee?  Some friends of ours throw a solstice party every year, but since they live 200 miles away, we don't usually have the opportunity to go.  Maybe next year . . .

Lots of druidic rituals attached to the solstice times of year, which reminds me to sharpen my research there.  Always wanted to write a druid book.  On my list for the New Year, but for the moment, I think I'm going to take that leap and try my hand at a Christmas story.  Of course no one will want to read a Christmas story in February, or July, but by next Christmas.  Considering the time I will have to polish it up, maybe it will be a welcome relief to some of the drivel I've seen this year.

Already the stores are stocking up for Valentines Day, and Christmas isn't over yet.  A sure sign of the times when they start skipping over Christmas to get to the next holiday.  I thought Christmas was THE holiday to market.  And the news markets are starting to revisit the year 2009 as it comes to a close.  The most fascinating people, the biggest news stories, etc.  For me?  I'm going to enjoy today.

My own pace of life tends to be way too fast so while I have a break from the day job, I'm going to watch the snow fall.  I'm going to bake some bread.  I'm going to watch yet another Christmas movie (because that's what I do this time of year - but I'm going with the classics today).  And then I'm going to watch the snow fall some more as a backdrop while I transcribe the story that is building in my imagination.

Next week I'll set my New Year's goals - after Christmas.  In the meantime, enjoy the peace and love of the season. 

Merry Christmas.

Happy Holidays

Happy Hannukah to my Jewish friends, and Merry Almost Christmas to my Christian friends.

Today is decorating day.  Finally making festive around the house and doing some holiday baking.  With Thanksgiving falling late this year, I feel a little behind, and yet, not.  We have snow on the ground (it came early this year) and the temperatures have been plummeting.  Yes, it definitely feels like Christmas.  Now if I could just get my shopping done . . .

Haven't started watching Christmas movies yet.  DH has been humoring me since I don't have my children around to help me celebrate the coming of the season (isn't he wonderful?), but not sure how many Christmas movies he can stomach.  And we have shopping yet to do.

Every year at this time, I'm sure I want to write a Christmas story, and yet it seems they've all been written.  How many variations on a theme can you do? - but they still keep coming.  It seems almost as if its getting so diluted now that the stories aren't very imaginative any more.  Do I want to add my name to that list?  The trend this year seems to be single mothers catching new husbands that bond instantly with their kids.  Seems a bit of a stretch, but I suppose there's always hope, and isn't that what Christmas is all about?  I'm sure one day I'll try my hand.  Last year I had a decent idea, but I never sat down to compose it into a story.  Keeping my options open.