Sweet vs. Steamy

When I first started writing romance, I was conflicted about how much intimacy to show on the page. Not to mention that when I first started writing romance I was hyper aware of what other people would think about how much intimacy I put on the page.

My mother's going to read this!

As a result, my first novel didn't show sexual intimacy, but I got braver on my second attempt. By my third attempt, when one of my coworkers read the book, she blushed every time she saw me. "I keep envisioning you're writing about yourself." Doesn't matter how much I told her it wasn't me. Doesn't matter that the character didn't look like me, didn't work in the same job I did. The fact I drew on my travel experiences were what convinced her. Go figure. (It wasn't about me. It never is.)

Fast forward several years. The level of intimacy is no longer about who else is going to read it, now it's about how much my characters are willing to share. When I finished one of my Northwest Suburbs novels and handed it in, I'd purposely left the steamy stuff out. My editor told me I had to put it in. As an industry professional, I bowed to her better judgment. I'm not sorry I did, but the question remains. When do you make a book steamy and when do you make it sweet? For the book in question, the steamy stuff was part of the plot, so yeah, it did belong, even if I was reluctant to add it.

This brings about another discussion I had with a fellow author recently. When writing steps toward intimacy in a novel, there are different paths to follow if you're writing steamy vs. sweet. If you're going steamy, you include the physical reactions to a greater degree. The touches, both intentional and unintentional. The chemistry. If you're going to talk about the hero "getting excited," you should probably give him some relief somewhere along the line--likewise for your heroine. On the flipside, if you're writing sweet, those intimate moments are going to be less physical and more sentimental. The characters might still feel warmth, but they aren't going to have responsive body parts (because those body parts won't be "used" in a sweet romance). The touches are more likely to be incidental, more of an "oops." There might be hand-holding and maybe even a kiss.

Recently, the Big Guy and I were watching a "G-rated" TV show and the characters kissed for the first time. I laughed and said, "no arms." (They leaned in for the kiss but didn't otherwise touch.) Now, its a running joke about kisses with arms.

via GIPHY

Don't get me wrong. A steamy romance needs the emotional intimacy, too. By its nature, a romance needs a happily ever after, and steamy bits by themselves aren't enough to guarantee a successful relationship. A good example of this is the movie About Last Night. The couple meets at a bar and finds instant chemistry, but they discover that isn't enough. They try to make the relationship work because shouldn't it? But it doesn't. It isn't enough. They don't have enough emotional maturity, no emotional growth. They aren't invested in each other.

Some readers cringe when they read steamy novels. Some look forward to the steamy bits. The trick is making sure those steamy bits, if they're included, don't interrupt the flow of the story. They should be there for a reason, part of the plot, and not gratuitous. Unless, of course, the book is erotica, but that's a whole other animal.

In the end, the level of intimacy is about expectations. If I show you a man's physical response, you're probably going to expect to see that play out. If intimacy is limited to holding hands or maybe a kiss, the expectation for steamy falls away in favor of the "awwww" moments where the characters bond over more emotional responses.

For those of you who want a more in-depth dive, my friend and crit partner, Terry Odell, is doing a class on the 12 steps to intimacy starting June 29.  You can find out more here: 12 Steps to Intimacy

How are we all doing?

I read the news. I watch the news. I try to do my part to make this world a better place. But some days? Some days it's all too hard. The conspiracy theories are out there all over the place, no matter what side of the fence you're on, no matter what you believe. I don't want to go on into a political discourse, because as I've mentioned previously on this blog, there is no middle ground anymore. Politics has become a competition of win/lose instead of a discourse to find the middle ground, and that makes me crazy. We can't all be right, but we are now put in a position where we are all wrong.

For the past several months, I've found an escape either writing or reading, and I hope I can provide some of you with a respite from the world, too.

Raise a glass with me, I've finished THE HIDDEN GRIMOIRE (Hillendale 3) and sent it off for critical evaluation, which means you will have a new book to read soon (assuming things don't fall apart in the meantime). I've also approved THE TWINS (Epitaph 2) in audiobook format, narrated once again by Jane Oppenheimer (EPITAPH), and am waiting for the outlets to put it up for sale. You can look for a newsletter in your inbox when everything's a "go" if you're signed up (if you're not, look for the newsletter link in the menu!)

Which brings me to "what's the next project?" This is where I ask everyone "How are we all doing?" Because this world we live in right now today is taking its toll. I have been getting "Out and About" (you can see what I see on my Instagram and Facebook pages) to find the good in the world, but my worldview is much more limited. I suppose that means I can find inspiration in my own back yard, and in this day and age, that might be the right "next book" to write. Can I escape out my own back door? May I invite you along for the ride?

I'm struggling. I suspect a lot of you are, too. We're in this together, and I'll do my best to keep you entertained until we figure out how the apocalyptic novel we're currently living ends.

Time Keeps on Slipping

I've been editing. The first draft of HIDDEN GRIMOIRE is complete, which means now I have to go back and fix the mess I made.

One of the most consistent mistakes I make is the passage of time. I'm one of those people who struggle with this in my daily life. When is your birthday? What day is today? Was I suppose to remember that? These days, I use Alexa to tell me every morning what's on my calendar so I don't forget. I thought I'd come up with a fail-safe way to keep track while I was writing, by adding days in my chapter heads as I write. #Fail.

I'm about 1/4 through doing chapter summaries and tracking continuity, my first editing pass. In each summary, I put the day and date. And guess what? Even though I thought I was tracking the days, I missed one. SURPRISE! I'm nothing if not consistent. Keeping my fingers crossed that my missing day doesn't have a ripple effect, but the good part about the book is there isn't a critical time stamp. I just have to make sure Brynn isn't working on her day off, or that there isn't a place where a time warp makes a difference. This really is the hardest part, the documenting and tracking.

My next pass will be for overused and filler words, and then I can read through the whole darn thing to see how it holds together. At that point, it should be "editor ready."

Does anyone else struggle with the concept of time the way I do? I'm never late for an appointment, always early, but when it comes to days of the week? Personal holidays? I need all the help I can get.

Hey, one last thing. Have you read FAMILY ALCHEMY? UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES? If you have and haven't left a review, I'd love to know what you thought. HIDDEN GRIMOIRE will be book #3 in the Hillendale series, and I'm contemplating "what comes next." Do you want to see more of Brynn and Hillendale? As an author, I have dozens of stories in my head at any given time, including a potential Hillendale 4. Or "something completely different." So many choices! What do you think?

TFW

For those of you who don't know, the title stands for "That Feeling When."

As I near "the end" on one more book, I'm running into that feeling when I don't want the story to end, but I want it to end. I want do be done, but I don't want to rush to the finish line. When writing a story, there's nothing worse than rushing to tie up all the loose ends in a very convenient bow.

I read a book recently where once the author wrote the climax, the point that the story was leading up to where everything comes out into the open and generally does some sort of damage, they packed all the loose ends into neat little packages. Sometimes those loose ends aren't neat, nor should they be. Consider shows or movies where the villain tells the person he's about to kill all about his evil plan instead of just pulling the trigger. Yes, sometimes that's the only way you can reveal how they got there, but I will admit to wondering why the villain just offed the one guy but stopped to chat with the main target. Savoring the kill doesn't hold water with me most of the time.

And so I'm finding myself in this same boat. I'm about to write the climax. I know what's going to happen, but I'm not sure how it's going to unfold. In leading up to this point, I had written a section that showed a moment of clarity, rather than letting it play itself out. When I re-read it, I realized it would carry much more impact as an "aha" moment. "Where had she seen that look before?" AHA!  Well, something like that. I was pretty proud of myself for seeing it was too convenient as originally written. Yes, I am still growing in my writing journey every day.

Which brings me back to finishing. I have to walk my character into a potentially dangerous situation and bring her out on the other side, and then I have to show the reader how this has changed her life for the better. That's what books do. They show character growth or resolution of a goal, or both. So once we get to the other side, I need to explain why we traveled the roads we did to get to this point. Why did I point out that particular landmark along the way? And I have to do it in a logical, believable way instead of throwing my characters to the wolves and saying "you have to do this so that the story works the way I want it to." Funny, but too often, the characters tell ME how the story works out. I think it's better that way. After all, walking this journey with them all this way, I don't want to betray who they are now. Add in that there are reader expectations for the type of story I'm writing.

Which brings me to that feeling when the story comes to an end. I want to part with these characters as friends, hoping that one day we might see each other again - especially when the books are part of a series. And I don't want readers to say things like "well, that was a little too easy." My characters need to stay true to themselves, and true to the way the real world works, or at least the the extent the world they live in works.