Sticking to the writing rules

I have critique partners who redirect me when I'm on the wrong path, who catch my errors through the writing process. We've been together a LONG time, and sometimes it's as simple as highlighting an error rather than pointing out why it's an error. I also have an editor who points out writing errors. With that being said, sometimes I argue my point. "It's in dialog, so it shows characterization." Or "it's there to call attention to what's happening."

I recently got back the audio for THE JANE DOE GHOST, and I sent back one sentence for her to redo. 

“Is that what you want?” I asked Laine. “What you think?” 

She read the sentence with "you" emphasized in the first sentence, and then the second sentence without much inflection. In my head, "you" should be emphasized in both. 

This, my friends is an example of redundancy. Elle and Laine are having an argument, and Elle thinks Laine's perceptions have been influenced by Laine's boyfriend. I did it deliberately, and I can argue the point all day, but as my narrator demonstrated to me, she missed the point, which is MY problem. As an author, I shouldn't have to point out my intentions. I should have made it clear to the reader. A reminder that redundancy isn't helpful. Yes, there are instances where it might make sense, but clearly this wasn't one of them. 

Sometimes, redundancy happens organically when I write, and I usually catch it in editing and remove it. In this instance, it was deliberate. Am I right? Am I wrong? Again, if I have to explain this to a reader (my narrator), it's wrong, and no amount of justification is going to make it right. Authors need to put their egos aside, "kill their darlings" sometimes. 

I've had books where I incorporated particularly "odd" phrases that I'd heard. Real life, right? My critique partners shot back with "people wouldn't say that." But they did! But if it doesn't ring true, I need to support why I've said it, let the character react to it and point out that yes, it's odd, but that's how it happened. You know the phrase, "truth is stranger than fiction?" Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. 

Which circles around to "kill your darlings." Figuratively, of course. You've just written the perfect sentence, and the perfect paragraph to decorate it. You LOVE what you've written. It's PERFECT. The problem is it doesn't belong there. Maybe its expositive. Maybe it's irrelevant. Maybe it doesn't move the story along. DELETE. 

An author has to set their ego aside sometimes. Reading is subjective, and there is always going to be someone who doesn't like what you've written. You can take it personally or understand that one size doesn't fit all in this business. I've had that experience myself, where I read a perfectly good book and didn't like it, mostly because of my own personal biases. Constructive criticism is just that - constructive. Consider the source. Consider their expertise. Consider your ego. Consider your audience. 

So what did I do with my redundancy? Well, the book is already published. The audio is meant to reflect the book. Neither my writing buddies NOR my editor commented on this particular redundancy, and since I can justify my position, I asked my narrator to read it the way I heard it in my head when I wrote it. Maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong in this instance, but for this one time, I'm going to let it slide on through.

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