Get that First Draft down

Every book I write I wonder if I've lost something along the way. Will this be as good as the last book? Have I covered all the bases? What am I missing? This doesn't feel right.

"A funny thing happened on the way to the forum." Well, that's the line that comes to me, at any rate. As I finished my first draft, I muddled over all the details. The story line. The back stories. Something wasn't quite adding up. 

That's what first drafts are for. In my mind, they're like a very detailed outline. Get the story down. It can take a whole book before you know your characters well enough to known what triggers them--both good and bad. 

Just when I was ready to believe this next book was going to be a clunker, I started going over some of the backstory in my head (not advisable to do this when you go to bed--makes it hard to sleep). I had the basics, sure. You can't write a story without them. But then more came through. I started to understand my characters. Why did they do that? What caused this to happen? And as is often the case with me, I went the long way around the block. Added way too many detours when the direct route was a much better option. Suddenly, the stakes were raised. The conflict was more intense. The resolution was more achievable. It made a whole lot more sense. 

Yes, I tend to research things that have no place in my book, or over research things that can be handled simply. It might make me crazy, but it also adds more dimension when I finally "see the light." I can cut out all the extra nonsense, but I have a deeper, more rounded sense of how I got there. 

So yes. Even Stephen King tells you to get the first draft done. You can fix it later. But until you get that first draft done, you haven't really gotten to know your characters. You don't really understand why they're responding the way they do. Instinct and intuition will guide you a long way, and you can lean into that later when you need to clean things up. Many times I find that I've laid groundwork I wasn't even aware of and everything comes together once things make more sense--once you've gotten "all the words" out. Yes, sometimes that leaves a mess to clean up, but at lease you've cleared the path to follow.

The Awkwardness of Divorce

Not my usual blog post today...

Something they don't tell you when you get divorced is that you don't just divorce your spouse, you divorce the whole family. That can be a good thing, but it also becomes awkward if you've been married for any length of time and have forged family friendships, and especially if you share children.

I've been divorced from Husband #1 for 25 years. We share two children. For all intents and purposes, it was amicable, for the sake of said children. After the divorce, the ex invited me to a "family pizza party" at a local restaurant when his sister came to town because I was close to one of his sisters. I went, because - well, we were close. Unfortunately, the ex's new girlfriend wasn't happy about that. She spent the evening throwing peanuts at the ex because she felt I was invading her territory. Okay. Lesson learned. This was no longer my place. 

His family pretty much divorced all of us, including cousin relationships for my children. Years passed, and one of my kids' cousins had a traumatic accident. Again, I had trouble distinguishing between family/not family, and reached out to offer help and sympathy. My efforts were rebuffed. I was no longer family. 

More years passed. My ex's cousin lived in the same city we did, and I'd often run into him at the stores/restaurants. Nice guy. Friendly. He did odd jobs and we hired him from time to time. We had a good relationship. Until he died. I went to his funeral, only to get more of the awkward, evil glances and comments from the ex-family. The ex's other cousins asked, not quite out of earshot, what I was doing there. Ex or not, I still had a friendly relationship with the cousin who passed. If they didn't want my sympathy, that's fine, but I wanted to pay my respects, either way.

Family. Not family. It's awkward. 

My ex passed away recently. The kids were left taking care of the details because of the divorce, which I felt wasn't fair to them, and yet who else? I wanted to help. When it came time to sit vigil with him, I went with my daughter so she wouldn't have to sit alone. (And yes, for the record, if the kids couldn’t have come, I would have walked him home. No one should have to die alone.) When my son showed up to sit with her, they told me it was okay for me to go. But was it? More of this awkward divorce thing. I was in that awkward limbo where I wasn't sure what my place was. Again. 

I am there to support my children, if nothing else. That's not awkward. I hate that they have to handle everything because there is no one else, because... we were divorced. Then I wonder what would have happened to him in his final days if we didn't have children? I wouldn't be there because I wouldn't know. So following that logic, I don't have a place there now. But we do have children. And more than anything else, I'm struggling with wanting to save them from having to deal with all of this. They have grown into exceptional adults, and they've managed everything admirably. They keep telling me this isn't mine to deal with anymore, and they're right, but I hate that it falls to them because of divorce.

Awkward. 

But my kids? So darn proud of them.

How Many Books is Enough? Too Many? Not Enough?

As an author, one thing that is drilled into your head is how the best marketing is writing the next book. So how many books is enough?

One of the first questions people ask when I tell them I'm an author is how many books have I written. I am currently working on book #33. That number includes three omnibus versions -- The Mist Trilogy, two for The Epitaph Series, and one novella. I've done my part in "writing the next book." I like to consider myself a midlist author. People buy my books, but I have yet to crack a best seller list. With that being said, I have won awards for some of my books, so I must be doing something right. 

Here's the thing. I have ALWAYS loved writing. From the time I was just a little kid. For many years, it was a way to release the random thoughts buzzing around inside my head, let the characters who had taken up residence live out their imagined lives. Yes, I wanted to be a "real author," but I didn't really devote the necessary time and energy to it until a little more than twenty years ago, when THE BIG IDEA took shape, and I buckled down to "really" write. Even as I started that first novel, I worried about market. Would a publisher take a chance on a one-book author? Not likely. I knew right then there would have to be a book two. But you know what? I had a million ideas. A million characters living in my head that all raised their hands for a chance to be heard.

So here I am, more than 20 years later and 33 books in. I love hearing from my readers, and every time I get a glowing review or a random email, it sparks me to keep going. When I finished my last book, my editor told me she's loving this Elspeth Barclay series and can't wait to see the next one. Prior to that moment, I hadn't been sure there would BE a next one. Writing is hard work, and sitting in the midlist can be discouraging. "Karla Who Now?" It's hard to stay motivated. 

Oftentimes, writing a book is compared to childbirth. Sticking with that analogy, I'm in my ninth month of pregnancy with the current book. I'm excited to see it born. After months of growing and developing, it's ready to enter the world. This is also where you start to worry if it will "be okay." Will it be healthy? And then, once it's born, there's exhaustion. Why would I do this to myself over and over again? Will there be another one? So far, the answer has been overwhelmingly, "Yes." 

For some of the books, I immediately started on the next one when "this" book went to the editor. And then there are the other times when "this book" was a hard labor. I've had moments where I swore "this is going to be the last book." I've gone as long as a month swearing I was done. "That's enough books." And then I get antsy. My dreams get more vivid. I don't know what to do with myself. Writing is a part of who I am. 

I question every book I write, wondering if it's any good or if people will respond to it. You'd think, after recently reviewing my Epitaph series as it was produced in audio that I'd learn that yes, I do know how to write. I had so much fun revisiting those books, marveling that "I did that." They were well plotted and well written. "I'd buy that book." As the saying goes, we're always our own worst critic. Not every book is going to resonate with every person, but man. I'll never be sorry I wrote those. Time and distance have a way of showing you what you can't see when you're in the moment. 

So here I go. About to birth another book. Calling on "Aunt Kelly" to help me bring it into the world. Will it be "the one?" Will people like it? In the end, it's a labor of love. 

This is what I was meant to do.

Oh. Speaking of Epitaph. THE ARCHITECT is currently at a special price in audio for a limited time. Part of that "marketing" thing that doesn't include writing the next one. Get it while its hot!

The Home Stretch

For those of you wondering, the next book in the Elspeth Barclay novels is in the home stretch. I'm on schedule to finish on time. The weather has been conducive to sitting inside at my computer, so no distractions - well, at least not of the "what a beautiful day" variety. And if one of those beautiful days should come along in the next week or two, I can write outside. I've straightened out all the "where does this chapter go?" questions (or at least I think so), and its full speed ahead to The End.

With that in mind, I'm keeping this blog post brief in order to focus on finishing.

Because I also have to chase the audio links squirrel, which is making me a little nuts (see what I did there?). Audible is STILL not publishing Jane Doe for reasons undisclosed (the 4-6 weeks expectation has surpassed 8) and The Garden is taking its sweet time hitting some of the outlets, too. With that being said, Jane Doe is everywhere else, and The Garden is popping up - slow but sure. Hope you'll give them a listen!

As for me? Back to work. See you next week.